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CHEESY PICK UP LINES

What's a bar without some drunken patron slurring a few cheesy (or just plain stupid) pick up lines? Well, the Thursty Toad has heard more that its fair share of cheesy pick up lines, and I mean real cheesy... like blue cheese, cheddar cheese, and limburger cheese cheesy! (is anyone else out there familiar with Limburger cheese?)

Here are some of the best super cheesy pickup lines we've heard here at the Thursty Toad, though we can't really vouch for them and a few of them are rumored to have resulted in a drink being thrown into the person's face...

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1. No, I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by your beauty. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

2. I was so distracted by your beauty that I walked into that wall over there. So I'm afraid I'm going to need to get your name and phone number for insurance purposes. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

3. If I had a nickel for each time I saw someone as beautiful as you are, I'd have five cents. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

4. If I was a traffic light, I would turn red each time you drove by, just so that I could have the pleasure of admiring you a little a bit longer. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

5. If ten thousand artists worked for ten thousand years, they still could never create a work of art as beautiful as you. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

6. My love for you is like diarrhea... I'm afraid that I just can't hold it in. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

7. I know milk does a body good.. so I'm wondering... do you drink the whole dairy farm every day? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

8. I know I don't have my library card with me, but is it okay if I check you out? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

9. Somebody had better notify God, because heaven is missing an angel! ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

10. Do you believe in love at first sight... or do I need to walk by again?. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

11. I'm going to have to arrest you for robbery... because you've stolen my heart. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

12. If an angel gave me a star every time you brightened my day, I'd have an entire galaxy in my hand. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

13. Darn it. There seems to be something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your phone number in it. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

14. If you were a booger in my nose, I'd pick you first. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

15. If this bar is a meat market, then I'd have to say you  must be the prime rib. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

16. I have to be honest with you. I'm not as tall as I may look. I'm sitting on my wallet. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

17. If beauty was measured like time, then you would be eternity. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

18. You must be lost. Because heaven is a long way away from here. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

19. I'm battling the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight, but my will power is weak. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

20. Hi. I'm an honest thief, so I need to tell you that I am here to steal your heart. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

21. If a star fell from the sky every time I thought of you, the night sky would soon be empty. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

22. Honey, if you were printed words on a page, you would be the FINE PRINT! ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

23. I have an 'boo boo' on my lip. Will you please kiss it and make it better? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

24. Hi, my name is Doug. That is "god" spelled backwards... but with tiny bit of you all wrapped up in it. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

25. (hold out your hand to her and ask) Would you please hold this for me while I go for a walk? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

26. Hi, I'm a psychic, and I can tell you love me. Am I right? [NO!] Oh, I always seem to get 'love' and 'lust' mixed up. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

27. Don't you think we'd we look cute together on the top of on a wedding cake? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

28. When God created you, he was showing how amazing he is. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

29. Honey, are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

30. You must be partially magnetic, because you just attracted me over here. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

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Do you know of any amazingly great cheesy pick up lines that you haven't seen here?
Or do you know of any funny, corny, silly, dumb, cute, classic, short, dirty, overly romantic, obnoxious, original, and/or otherwise foolish pick up lines that belong here?
Drop us a line and let us know, and share your best pick up line with us.
We'll test your pick up lines on some of the beautiful bar flies here at the Thursty Toad.
If they work, and maybe even if they don't, you might just get a free beer and a bowl of stale beer nuts.

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31. Is it incredibly hot in here, or is it just you? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

32. You are so incredibly hot that you would make the devil himself sweat. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

33. You are so gorgeous I would marry your brother just to get in your family. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

34. You're so hot, you could probably light a candle from across the room. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

35. It's hard to believe that God is will to share something as perfect as you. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

36. This isn't a beer belly. It's the fuel tank of a love machine. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

37. I'm really not trying to impress you, but... my friends call me Superman! ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

38. Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me hot. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

39. This must be the end of the rainbow because I just found the treasure I've been searching for. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

40. Hey, is it just me dreaming, or are we destined to be together forever? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

41. Well, I am here. Now tell me what your other two wishes were? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

42. I had no idea that angels can fly so low! ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

43. You must be part broom... 'cause you just swept me off my feet. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

44. Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

45. Are you ok? I was afraid you got hurt when you fell from Heaven. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

46. What time are you supposed to be back at Heaven? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

47. Is your name Katrina? Because you rock me like a hurricane! ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

48. If you were filet mignon I'd have to say you would be well done. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

49. I'm pretty sure that no word exists in the English language that fully describes just how beautiful you are. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

50. See all the keys I have? The only one I'm missing is the key your heart. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

51. Stop, drop, and roll, baby, because you are on fire! ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

52. Be careful where you're direct that beauty or you're going to set something on fire. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

53. Your lips look very lonely.... Would they like to meet mine? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

54. Dr. Phil says I have a problem with commitment...Would you like to help me prove him wrong? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

55. I'm new in town and don't know my way around. Can you give me directions to your place? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

56. You must be exhausted from running through my mind all night. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

57. Did you know how that skin is the largest organ on the human body? Except in my case. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

58. Is the airport somewhere around here, or is it just my heart I feel taking off? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

59. Sorry, honey, but I think you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I saw you, I dropped mine. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

60. I hope you know CPR, because you just stopped my heart. ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

61. Hey, can you help me... I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours? ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

- - -

Sometime romance just isn't meant to be, even with the most cheesiest of cheesy pick-up lines... which reminds me of a joke :) ...

The judge at the local courthouse banged his gavel to start the day and said, "First case."
A woman stood up and approached the judge.
The woman said, "Your honor, I would like to divorce my husband."
The judge looked at her case paperwork and then asked the woman, “Do you have grounds?”
The woman stared at him, apparently a bit puzzled, and said, “Grounds, your honor? Well, yes, we do have about two acres.”
“No,” said the judge, “What I meant is, do you have a grudge?”
The woman appeared to become more puzzled, and replied, “Well, no, your honor, we only have a carport.”
The judge shook his head, and said, “Let me get to the point. Does your husband beat you up?”
The woman replied, “Oh, no your honor, I’m always up by 6 and my husband doesn't get up until after 7.”
The judge became exasperated. He stared directly at the woman and asked very slowly, “Look, lady, what are you doing here? What is your reason for wanting a divorce?”
The woman replied, “Because my husband says we have a failure to communicate.”
  ~ submitted by Steve, your Thursty Toad bartender

:-)   :-)   :-)

I like silly pick up lines, and I also like silly fishing jokes, especially if they are spectacularly silly, which is why I recommend you check out these spectacular fishing jokes I found the other day. Maybe you can even work one of them into a new spectacular pick up line. Let me know!

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