Tim "The Toolman" Taylor,
the original Mr Fix-It
Any self-respecting male will have a list of unfinished projects,
plus projects on the backburner, potential projects that exist only in his
head, and a huge "To Do" list or projects generated by and regularly updated by his spouse.
A real man should also have a list for finished projects, with the goal
being to move
projects from the unfinished projects list to the
finished projects list. Of course, a project can't be moved until it is truly
done, done right, and perfected.
I, your Thursty Toad bartender and proprietor, am a typical male, aka
real man, and
have many projects in process. I thought I'd share a few of them with you,
and update them as they move along the path to becoming a finished project.
I. The Thursty Toad website:
Of course this website is my newest unfinished project, and will probably
remain an unfinished project for quite some time. After all, who can ever
get enough blonde jokes, redneck jokes, cheesy pick-up lines, and other
classic bar humor? As long as there are new jokes to add, I suppose the
Thursty Toad will have to remain at the top of my Unfinished Projects list.
II. The Backyard Zip Line:
I built a zip line in the back yard for my kids. It has gone through several
iterations, and is probably my classic "unfinished project". Version One was
a nylon cord stretched about fifty feet between two trees with a handle on a
single pulley wheel that one had to hang on to by hand and dangle from. I
quickly learned that nylon stretches, meaning that one only went about half
way down the zip line before hitting the ground. Version Two replaced the
nylon rope with a steel cable (rated for 5,000 pounds!). Then I discovered
that little kids don't have a great deal of hand strength and could let go
of the handle and fall to the ground with a bit of force at the end of the
line, so Version Three replaced the handle with a seat arrangement... I'm
now up to Version Six (I think), but I still have some ideas to further
improve the zip line... pictures, possibly video, and more details to
III. Other Projects Around The House:
Trapping pesky gophers is a never ending project. I doubt I'll ever be able to
move that one to the "finished projects" list, though I got some
cool new "cinch traps" that seem to be almost too good to be true....
Building a tree fort. It's getting there, but there is always room for
Additional projects to be listed soon.
Also known as putting food on the
bills, work is my main
project. Some day I'll be able to retire from my day job... maybe. Of
course, then my dream is to open the real Thursty Toad Pub (or Bar and
Grill), so I guess I'll probably never stop working... and I'll never stop
V. Getting a real live toad as a mascot for the pub...
My son wants to get a real live green toad, and says he can be the Thursty
Toad's mascot. Of course that means the toad would have to be funny and have
a good sense of humor, if a real toad can have such a thing. I definitely
wouldn't get a cane toad from Australia, even though they are impressively
enormous! But my problem is that I don't know what I would feed the toad,
or if the toad's diet determines the toad's temperament? I suppose it would have
to be nutritious and organic, but when I google "healthy organic green toad food recipes"
I can't really find anything? So I'm wondering, what food do you feed a
toad, especially if you want him to be healthy, and, of course, to also be a funny
green toad, worthy of being a mascot for the Thursty Toad?
Hmmmm... food for though, or for a big fat hungry green toad, I suppose...
A friend of mine suggested that the Thursty Toad should have a group of
sponsors to make it look "professional". Hmmmm... when I hear the word
"sponsor" the first thing I think of is AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), which is
not an organization that most pubs and bars would really want to be
associated with. In any event, the Thursty Toad doesn't have its liquor
license yet and isn't a real, brick-and-mortar bar/pub/grill yet, so I'm not
sure if we should have any official "real" sponsors, but I suppose we could
make up a few fictitious sponsors for fun based on the themes of beer
companies, rednecks, and toads...
VII. Does the Thursty Toad do catering now?
I received a strange email about ravenous trade show booths that are being
constructed by a ravenous trade show displays company. I guess the former
owner of this ravenous trade show displays company decided to build way too
many ravenous trade show booths, and now the new owner doesn't know what to
do with what he thinks is just trade show refuse. He heard about the Thursty
Toad and thought we might be able to use them for our catering business. But
not only do we not have a catering business, we aren't even a real bar and
grill... we are just a virtual bar and grill. I don't know how some people
get so confused... but maybe we should consider getting into the catering
A toad's work is never done.
But never give up, never stop working, never stop believing, and never look
because you don't know what might be coming up behind you.